Directionally Challenged

You know when you see that woman, shopping bags in hand, standing in the parking lot with a deer in the headlight look...obviously lost; well that is me. On a recent trip to Disneyworld in Florida, I liked how they embraced the 'directionally challenged.' They took characteristics of Disneyworld; objects that exemplify the Magic Kingdom and blew them up a thousand times bigger in order for people to find their way or meet-up at a particular spot. A fine example is Mickey's wizard hat, which can be spotted long distances and helped me to navigate. I share this as it helps to demonstrate my inability to grasp geography. Therefore, when I was given the task of planning several activities for our upcoming trip to Hawaii, I was a bit perplexed. It is like sending a mole in broad daylight to go find the shopping mall! As a researcher and writer, I did my homework and found a brilliant Lu' au. It was rated five Stars, fantastic reviews and personified the old Hawaiian spirit. I booked it right away, thrilled that I had found such a wonderful activity and a delicious buffet to indulge in. I shared with my partner the reservation and he was just as happy that we would be attending a Lu' au. Last week, I was putting our itinerary together. As I wrote in the blocks of our monthly Calendar, something leapt out at me. I was gripped by worry as I read the location of our feast in October. We were staying in Honolulu, Hawaii and the Lu'au was in...Maui! It would not be a simple Catamaran trip to get there. Feeling a bit sheepish, I contacted the company directly in Maui. The woman was unimpressed at the lack of my geographical skills, but promised a full refund. I envision my name and photograph on a Wall of Shame of Canadians, who too has made the same mistake. I would like to say this was the only error I made in our planned activities; however, my boyfriend now has to fly across several Islands to get to see Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. I have opted for a Spa Day on our Island. It is much simpler than having to tell others my geography is dreadful and I get lost when Wal-Mart changes the shopping aisles. So far, I have my daughter a wee bit concerned as A) I do not swim very well and B) I am directionally challenged. That said, I have assured her by letting her know, I will sew my name and information into everything I wear, in the event I do become lost.